November 6, 2010

Reanimator poison found in food samples from members of Tea Party platform committee

Posted in political satire at 2:20 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma
A not previously identified toxin that turns victims into mindless lurking cannibals (as one might imagine “a zombie” might appear. based on past legend), has been found in the aftermath of a police stand-off, on the grounds of Utah’s “Best Tea Party in the Universe” committee meeting complex.

“The Best Tea Party in the Universe” is one of the larger and better funded of the Tea Party operations,

“We said to them ‘Stop right there in your tracks!’, but they kept coming, and they were somehow able to withstand facts or reasoning,” said Officer Yong Ditretto from police headquarters. “And it looked like they were on their way to vote.”

Later in the night, the onslaught proved to be more dangerous, and they had to be contained with high speed water flushing from firehoses. It is said that the infected “zombie”-like creatures release a similar, dangerously contagious toxin, that leaves anyone exposed with what doctors are describing as “bizarre animalistic tendencies-YAGH!” This is according to recent reports overheard from beside the compound.


1 Comment »

  1. W.E. Hammond said,

    AWESOME! love your work.

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