December 26, 2006

Generals tell President, “you can if you want to,” endorsing plans for troop surge

Posted in Gates, He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken (Cheney), Iraq, political satire at 6:35 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

After weeks of weighing options on Iraq, and extensive time studying manuels and analyses from experts in the intelligence and defense community, the White House has decided that they will stay the course in Iraq “as we always thought that we would do, but I’m justr glad we thought about it first,” according to chief of staff Josh Bolten. “The President was expecting some possibility that the joint chiefs or the military commanders might resist staying the course; that is not te case after all. They said, quote, ‘you can if you want to. What do you want us to say?’ They basically endorsed what has been our plan all along. And we’re quite thrilled that they’ve come around.”

Also supporting the President’s plan is incoming Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates who agreed to visit Iraq and then recommend a troop surge after he was asked to visit Iraq and recommend a troop surge earlier in the week by the President’s advisors. “That did occur, yes, and we felt Bob needed some direction,” Vice President Dick Cheney said, agreeing to speak on the issue only if granted confidentiality. “And we appreciate the Secretary’s candor in most cases, but not in every case. He’s not President, and, more importantly, he’s not the Vice President of this country.”

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