November 28, 2006

Iraq not in civil war, “more like a very violent, radical PMS”

Posted in political satire, Rice, Tony Snow, White House at 7:32 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

White House spokesman Tony Snow asserted today that journalists are being irresponsible in calling the upsurge in violence in Iraq as being compatible with the label “civil war,” and argued that it better resmbles “a very violent, radical PMS.” He said “it is an analogy, if you will, that has some resonance to it, because this is after women are welcomed into it a political process in Iraq where they were previously shut out. Also, it is violence that is cyclic, and it happens in waves. I know Condi has not chosen to embrace this analogy, but I think it is quite helpful.”

On NBC’s Today Show with Matt Lauer earlier in the day, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice chose to distance herself from Snow’s comments. He made the remarks after several news organizations, including NBC, started to refer to what was previously considered “sectarian violence” as a descent into civil war. “I do not think ‘Premenstrual Syndrome’ means exactly what Secretary Snow thinks it means, but I agree that inflammatory language, like calling this civil war ‘a civil war, images-12.jpgis injudicious and against American principles and undermines the spread of freedom.”

President Bush earlier had tried to characterize the violence as unlike a civil war, and more like a series of Al Qaeda-driven divisive actions in the war-torn country, though fighters associated with Al Qaeda have largely been discredited and part of a very small minority since the violence began. “This is irresponsible, and a little defeatist, frankly. After all: it empowers the enemy to let them see us label things in certain ways. They watch our newscasts just as much as Dharma and Greg re-runs, and we must never underestimate the influence our actions have.”

One of Iraq’s communications ministers, Talik Anibar “Jenna” Elifamandi, confirmed that the American newscasts rank closely behind sit-com re-runs, including “Dharma and Greg” and “The Simpsons,” in viewership throughout Baghdad and other areas where fighting has intensified.

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