November 21, 2006

“We think we’re going to take the anti-Iran position this time,” says Gates.

Posted in political satire at 6:12 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

images-1.jpgby Paula Berrer

“We think we’re going to take the anti-Iran position this time,” Defense Secretary nominee Robert Gates told members of former Secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld’s national security team, according to a leaked notes from internal deliberations, “and there’s a lot of evidence to support this.” This was to make a distinction between his past positions vis a vis Iran, when he saw them as opponents at the time of the Iran-Iraq War, then as allies in the arms for aid swap at the time of the Iran-Contra deal, then as an impediment to nuclear non-proliferation in the present day.

“It’s a little like trading Shaquille O’Neal to the Miami team. Now if you are an LA Lakers fan, you’re still going to root for the big guy, even though Miami is a different state then California, right? Because you like Shaquille. And you see him beat up those little defenders, one teams in the east or the teams in the west. And here, we can get everyone behind us on this little state or another. Communists, states that sponsor terrorism, what have you. It’s like the Harlem Globetrotters. A lot of times, they played the Washington Generals, or some bunch of stiffs, but you love them, and they’d win. That’s what we’re, ultimately, engaged for. So the fans can see us win. Right?”

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