November 7, 2006

Robertson, Falwell and Dobson firmly deny any homosexual tendencies

Posted in parody, political satire at 10:28 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

Under pressure after the recent confession by the Reverand Ted Haggert of a long-standing affair with a male prostitute and methamphetamine habit, the Reverands Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family have deemed it necessary to go on the record “It would be irresponsible for someone to ‘paint everyone with the same brush’ on this, so to speak,” Robertson told viewers alongside Falwell on his program, “The 700 Club,” “and therefore, I want everyone to know that I am not gay, I have never been gay, and I hope that is all it is expected that I will say about the matter. And the Reverend Falwell is not a crystal meth addict, as he has attested, and probably is not gay, though, it would be irresponsible to assert as such as I have not been with him in the biblical sense, at least not recently.”

Falwell asserted further that he is not gay, has never slept with Robertson, and finds all accusations to the contrary “outrageous and prejudicial.”

Dobson, from the pulpit on Saturday, told congregants, that he stands by earlier statements that he has made denying his own homesexuality, calling it a sin, and saying if he ever has engaged in such activity, it would’ve been only because of mistreatment by Catholic priests in his youth.

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