October 29, 2006

Rove argues that GOP should win mid-terms “because we want to just this one last time”

Posted in Karl Rove, political satire at 9:56 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

images-3.jpgby Paula Berrer

Facing his most uphill campaign since working alongside George W. Bush in Texas in the 1990s, Karl Rove has told supporters that his party will win this time too, not because they deserve it, but “because we need to, just this one last time, and then we’ll go away. I promise. I swear to God.” Though party regulars have mentioned the problems with progress in Iraq as an issue that resonates with voters, Rove told them “I don’t know why you think that. People normally think about happy stuff, like who’s going to be the winner, and that Iraq stuff is poopy, unhappy stuff.” Using a sports reference, he said “Referrees in a touch football game will sometimes let the team who last had the ball get one last score, and that’s all we’re asking for here. That’s not necessarily fair, but that is the way it has to be sometimes.”

He has denied in private that he has any “October surprise” in mind, or other underhanded methods for ensuring victory, but said “sometimes, when I really, really really want something, it happens, and I’m so glad when that happens, and you should be too.

“And I know it will be that way this time too. Oh goody. And I’ve been telling the President that too, and he is very happy about the way things look.”

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