October 24, 2006

Rocket scientist explains why insurgents timed attacks to coincide with mid-term elections

Posted in political satire at 7:12 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

The administration has again retained rocket scientist Pilar Putnam, this time to explain why the insurgents in Iraq have chosen to increase attacks to coincide with the upcoming US Congressional elections, and in a conference call, he attributed it to a little known concept that derives from chaos theory and string theory. “There is a construct we use inceasingly called ‘artificial hip’ theory. In a nutshell, it states that if something could not possibly be, and you temporarily place something like a prosthesis, you can see how it might someday be so. Similar with the insurgents. Though they may not know now, in this time and space, why they are hurting Republican prospects, there is a dimension that exists whereby attacking and killing more soldiers and civilians, destroying more of the country, makes a sort of sense to them, and then the whole political equation, and the speakership and chairmanships become an afterthought.

“Now I have not visited Iraq, but I have some proofs I have written up that I can show anyone who is interested.”

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