October 24, 2006

Burns describes “secret plan” to rid world of evil

Posted in political satire at 5:53 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

images-2.jpgby Paula Berrer

In a debate Friday, Senator Conrad Burns (R-MT) accused his democratic challenger, John Tester, of defeatism in the war on glaobal terror, and said that he and the Republicans in Congress have a secret plan to rid the world of evil, but he will not tell anyone what it is. “There are a lot of plans, some still in the planning stages, but some in the ‘ready to stop the planning and go ahead and do them’ stage. And they will rid the world of evil a lot sooner than candidate Tester, and all his nonsense about corporate lobbyists and Jack Abramoff, of which I have not been charged of one thing!”

Tester has criticized Burns for failing to provide a coherent vision for the conflict in Iraq, but Burns has defended the approach as “sound and credible, if you think about it long enough,” and says that he has been in secret meetings with President Bush, where long-term strategy has been discussed. “I challenge my opponent to come up with an uplifting vision for this country. I have one. It’s a secret plan. I can’t tell anyone what it is, but it is so that we may rid the world of evil, once and for all, and I think the American people are tired of naysayers like John Tester.”


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