September 9, 2006

Bush: “I promise I was right to invade Iraq”

Posted in political satire at 2:41 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

Facing an increasing challenge to define the mission in Iraq as his party faces an uphill fight in the mid-term elections, President Bush made an emotional appeal today that telling voters “I promise I was right to invade Iraq, and that Iraqis were like Nazis, communists and slave-owners all rolled into one, and we will defeat them as long as we just do what I am saying we should do now. My team always does everything to protect you from terrorists. And the economy is good. Sorry, that’s all I have now.”

President Bush fired his latest message specialist, rocket scientist Pilar Putnam, and is staking out new territory. It is a bold strategy, and he is staking his credibility on his ability to shape the discussion from the bully pulpit of the Presidency. “Sorry about this, I don’t have a crystal ball, but it has made us safer, as has everything I’ve done, and Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are a lot more emotionally stable than people think.”

His prime time speech from the Oval Office was aired on all major networks and cable stations for the fifth time this week. He is expected to release a new strategy paper, “Why we are in Iraq: I can’t really tell you, but they are good reasons, and it keeps us safe,” next week, with daily speeches over the three weeks coinciding with its release and with the 5th anniversary of 10/11, a date of unknown significance to the outsiders, but some call it “the day he was rested enough to really dig in on the war on terror.” 

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