September 8, 2006

Bush argues that nation is safer, and shampoo bottles should have been banned prior to 9/11

Posted in political satire at 12:33 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

President Bush reiterated his commitment to keeping the nation safe, and said that the terror plots that have been thwarted to date were facilitated “by the brave people in branches of my government, including Mike Chertoff and what he is doing on behalf of banned shampoo bottles, that might otherwise be made into explosive devices.” 

He admitted that Congress and the Supreme Court have been most resistant to allowing wiretap surveillance and extraordinary rendition of suspects “because they’re nothing but phonies, and are not there to help protect you from this lethal enemy.” 

But he commended the work of Chertoff and the Department of Homeland Security, the intelliegence services, and airline footwear specialists who are now refining methods for checking Spencofoot pads for explosive residue.

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