September 7, 2006

All network programming suspended for Bush “thinking out loud” public briefings

Posted in political satire at 4:49 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma

President Bush has asked that all network programming be cancelled, so that he may “think out loud” on the Iraq crisis and security issues with American voters over the coming weeks.

“This is a vital time,” said Press Secretary Tony Snow to reporters, “and he has to be instrumental in shaping how people see the issues…and we do not want interference from other schools of thoughts from terrorist appeasers at this time.”

This is consistent with information from a leaked internal White House briefing paper with minutes, titled “The ‘Everything Including the Kitchen Sink’ Initiative,” reported in the Miami Herald Friday. Portions of the minutes showed White House political adviser Karl Rove commenting “Even 100 blind monkeys banging on typewriters will eventually come up with something relevant and interesting to people…or Shakespeare, or whatever.” Snow denounced the story, but refused to comment further out of “concerns for national security.”

Rove admits in the inutes of the meeting that the analogies with Nazis, Communists, slave-owners and the Spanish inquisition have had little resonance with voters to this point, “but I’m sure we’ll hit it on the head eventually.”

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