September 1, 2006

Pentagon money put forward for finding good news in Iraq

Posted in political satire at 3:58 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

Rich rewards via the Pentagon will be available for all reporting on positive developments in Iraq, according to a Government Accountability Report. Though liberal advocacy groups have criticized the use of taxpayer funds for activity some see as political, it has empowered many in the reporting community to more aggressively seek “the cloud’s silver lining,” according to several embedded reporters.

“It may be like the proverbial needle in a haystack, but we will find good news, dammit, wherever it resides,” said one network news executive.  “It’s our patriotic duty, and we will not just sit this one out.”

And reporters have been discouraged from turning in anything “just being made up,” though there will be some flexibility allowed for articles that show how the United States’s effort is making the world safer.

“It may be like Some are pursuing the goal enthusiastically, almost like prospectors rushing to California looking for treasure during the famed Gold Rush, in spite of pitfalls (kidnappings, beheadings, and the like) some reporters have encountered in the region in the past.

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