August 31, 2006

Bush to ease environmental regulations on laser beams

Posted in political satire at 4:09 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

Complaining that the regulations place unreasonable limits on laser beam manufacturers’ ability to compete in the global marketplace, President Bush has chosen to waive restrictions that kept high grade plutonium laser beam emissions away from cities and towns in Las Vegas, by executive order.

“The restrictions were draconian. I commend the President for taking this action,” said Wink Bnero of CloTec Defense Contracting, the country’s largest plutonium laser beam manufaturer. “There is nothing harmful about the rays at all. In fact, a lot of kids in these areas love those Lazer Tag games, where you run away from these beams. It’s not really so different.”


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