August 28, 2006

Chertoff enacts underwear and negligee airport security measures

Posted in political satire at 5:23 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma

In the face of new securty threats a US bound Portugese flight was stopped and terrorists apprehended attempting to transport bombs and detonators in the lining of their underwear and negligee.  Airline passengers are being asked to disrobe to their underwear, camisoles ad slips, then undego a full pat-down seach, before boarding planes.  This is in the aftermath of what Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff is calling “a serious and dire threat” from terror groups seeking to use underwear and negligee in a fashion that is similar to the Portugese terrorists.

The Homeland Security threat level has been raised to “orangish-reddish” until the measures are in place at all airports with flight entering the United States.

Though many are accusing the Homeland Security Department of repeatedly acting reactively and retrospectively in enacting new security measures, Chertoff is claiming the underwear and negligee security measures had been in the planning stages for some time, “though they were felt to be a little provocative at the time they were initially proposed.  Now, it is clear that passengers will prefer the new approach instead of exposing themselves to additional risk.” 


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