August 15, 2006

FEMA admits that it accidentally hosed down New Orleans trailers with toxic waste

Posted in political satire, satire at 4:26 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

The Federal Emergency Management Association (FEMA) has announced once again that there was a lapse in security related to the trailer homes for Katrina victims, this time with toxic waste used to clean the trailer interiors when residents were away temporarily.  “We were hoping to surprise them, clean things up when they weren’t around, but we made a mistake with which hose we used,” said FEMA chairman Blaze Sedowsky.  “We’ve already apologized a lot of times, but the residents are, I would say reasonably, still a little miffed.”

Earlier this week, it was revealed the hundreds of the trailers have locks that can be opened by a single same key, thereby presenting a risk for vandalism and theft, and that there were unacceptable formaldehyde levels in the trailers.  Earlier in the year, FEMA was blamed because thousands of unused trailers laid dormant in Arkansas.  These episodes were blamed on contractors, but it has also demonstrated problems with oversight by the top brass at FEMA.

“It’s not a matter of what you have done in the past, but how you correct it,” said Sedowsky, “and we don’t plan on using those toxic waste hoses again, and we have apologized to everyone we accidentally sprayed.”

“Thank God FEMA is no longer a part of the Department of Homeland Security,” Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff said when reached for comment. 

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