August 3, 2006

Evidence of problems with Bush’s backbone on latest physical exam

Posted in political satire at 11:53 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma

The X-rays from President Bush’s annual physical exam show that he lacks backbone, his recent medical report shows. “It’s actually quite amazing,” said his personal physician Dr. Morris Blaylock. “It’s as if he has no spine at all.” This finding has become more evident since his increased deference toward major policy decisions to his closest circle of advisors.

His blood pressure, heart rate and body weight were al in an excellent range for his age. However, osteoporosis is extremely common in men who keep their weight, and total body mass, abnormally low.

Press Secretary Tony Snow chose to emphasize the positive in referring to te President’s physical exam in his press briefing today. “The President’s health check-up shows that, clearly, his body, heart and mind are all the same as that of a man in his teens or early twenties.”

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