July 27, 2006

Presidential gaffe: “snowflake babies” all came from the same set of cells

Posted in parody, political satire, satire at 6:10 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma

It was revealed today that the children President Bush appeared with to announce his veto on the stem cell initiative were, in fact, derived from identicical embryos, genetic testing has shown. The so-called “snowflake babies” are adopted children born from in-vitro fertilization of the supposedly unique stem cell lines. The fertility lab that supplied the babies used for the White House unveiling, a division of Pfizer called Fertility Link,” has confirmed, however, that many of their cell lines for fertilization procedures are from identical cell lines, “not really clones, exactly, but…okay, they are clones,” lead fertility geneticist Nills Cavuto said. “But let me explain something. Though cloning is illegal, these cell lines were created for the express purpose of implantation as part of an NIH study. And they are so cute, aren’t they?”

This may provide further grist for the mill in the ongoing scientific “nature vs. nurture” debate, over what drives the process toward human individuaton.

At the same time, White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten has professed to be unsure of how the gaffe occurred related to this staged event.

“Andy Card would’ve never let’s this happen,” said one White House insider, who did not want to be identified as Dick Cheney. “His staged photo-ops were stupid, but at least they were usually accurate.”

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