July 25, 2006

Rice arrives in Middle East, suggests small party with presents to ease regional tensions

Posted in political satire, Rice at 2:36 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice arrived in Beirut yesterday to suggest changing the tone in the Middle East, and “perhaps, a small party,” as violence escalated between Israel and the Hezbollah and Hamas groups. “The United States will not stand by and let fledgling, growing democracies falter…and we’re tired of all the poopy faces all around here! Everyone cheer up!” she told a largely silent, but packed, session of the Lebanese Parliament. She also suggested a gift exchange, with purchases not to exceed ten dollars per gift, and voluntered to go first, producing a silken head wrap for Lebanese President Emile Lahoud.

“I’m speechless,” Prime Minister Fuad Saniora intoned to reporters later. “Such breathtaking stupidity!”

Parliament Speaker (and de facto Hezbollah spokesperson) Nabih Berri, however, was more conciliatory, saying, “Does it have to be pot luck? We have very strict dietary codes, you know.”


1 Comment »

  1. Daphne said,

    This sounds believable!

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