July 19, 2006

Decision 2008, Candidate Profiles: Hillary Clinton trying to keep from alienating voters

Posted in Clinton (F), Decision 2008, political satire at 6:51 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

Decision 2008, Candidate Profiles: Hillary Clinton trying to keep from alienating voters
by Terri Firma

Hillary Clinton has been a lightning rod to Republican ire, and she is once again seeking to deflect criticism today.  “I say again to you for, hopefully, the last time, I do not consort with Satan, I do not eat babies, and I do hate Jews.”  She has sought to reassure Democratic party cheiftains, loathe to alienate so-called “red state voters” in the run-up to a high stakes presidential election, by demonstrating a penchant for speaking to the concerns of relgious conservatives.

Long seen as a formidable adversary to political watchers on the right, Clinton has noted her status as an object of “obsession” to Karl Rove, and she has taken to laundering her panties and bras in a still undisclosed location.

Though immensely competent and visionary, another obstacle to a successful presidential run is a press unwilling to take the former first lady seriously.  Many have concentrated on the Clinton marriage, and hope to turn the presidential contest into a bad tabloid drama.  Others have sought to conjure a cat fight of sorts with present First Lady Laura Bush.  (Titillating ribald ripsotery is expected to follow.  The US press may finally have its fleet street monarchy to pillory, by jove).

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