July 14, 2006

White House to press Congress for bill to make Christian votes count for one and a half times a non-Christian vote

Posted in political satire at 10:32 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma
The White House has been successful in convincing the Senate to pursue passage of a bill that makes evangelical votes count more than secular votes. A voter must have demonstrated intent to accept the lord Jesus Christ as their personal savior to be eligible for the increased weight of their vote.  “Better say a ‘Hail Mary’,” Bush joked to reporters on Air Force One following news that the Senate would take up the measure.
Major evangelical leaders like Dr. James Dobson and Ralph Reed are cheering adoption of the measure.
Shaking off accusations that they are pandering to religious conservatives to energize their base before the 2006 mid-term elections, particularly as renewal of the Voting Rights Act (which would protect the vote of those who would presumably vote predominantly for Democrats) is delayed, Senate Majority leader Bill Frist said, “Well that is preposterous.  We’re a Christian nation, a nation of values.  That’s why we are bringing this bill to the floor.

“Besides, to accomplish that sort of thing, we’d have to figure out a way to make the ‘filthy rich guy’ vote count for more.”


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