July 11, 2006

Leaked report: terrorists thwarted before they were able to destroy the Grand Canyon

Posted in political satire at 4:04 am by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Paula Berrer

Another terrorist plot has been foiled, this one a plot to bomb the Grand Canyon, by a group of loosely affiliated senior citizens in Athens Georgia, communicating by way of intercepted walkie-talkie signals, picked up using methods approved under the federal terrorist surveillance program.

“This time, it was the really real deal,” said White House spokesman Tony Snow, mindful that the last leaked terrorist plot described as “the real deal” turned out to be an unhatched plot that never left the “Hey, maybe we should see where the New York transit sites are on a map” stage.

The suspects were apprehended before they were able to purchase the paper bags and plastic wrap they planned to use for carrying their weapons surreptitiosly onto tourist vans headed into the Grand Canyon basin.  They are thought to have worked with an umbrella organization, said to have familiarity with a cousin of slain terrorist mastermind Abu Musad Zarqawi, and to have nodded once at Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden once when he walked by.  Their capture is purported to open the way for intelligence in tracking the terrorist organization worldwide. 

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