July 9, 2006

Wall Street Journal editorial page writers assert plans to shun news page writers in lunchroom

Posted in political satire at 6:03 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

NEW YORK: The Wall Street Journal editorial today criticizes the news divisions of several large circulation newspapers, including its own, and the editors have pledged to take action by not being friends with journalists it deems are committing treason. “Though we believe they are leaking vital national security information, and guilty of treason, we are a news organization and not a criminal justice organization. However, it is not incumbent upon us that we like them or eat with them, and we shant from this point forward.”

Similar measures have been instituted by management against smaller news reporting divisions working with mainstream organizations, such as FOX News, but not to the extent being contemplated here.

“It’s just petulance. They’re a bunch of dilettantes,” said news writer Fal Deline on learning that the offices would soon accommodate a large line down the middle, over which news writers have been forbidden from stepping.

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