July 7, 2006

Leak: NY subway plot foiled by Al Qaeda-linked terrorist group, “You Americans were just too smart for us”

Posted in political satire at 5:43 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

FOX news is reporting that a top secret plan to thwart terrorist attacks on New York’s transit system has been revealed by intelligence sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, and that an Al Qaeda group operating in secret has been captured and has confessed to plotting to kill scores of US citizens.  “If it hadn’t been for US surveillance, the phone wiretaps and domestic surveillance, the expert job this government has done protecting its people,…even though it helped us a little that the New York Times and those newspapers let us know the government’s plans…,” one of the terror suspects reportedly stated through a translator.  “Well, we would have succeeded otherwise, and a lot of you would be dead.  Your government was just too smart for us.  Oh darn it all.

“Also, I wish you had never gone into Iraq.  That made it so you were able to fight us there, and not fight us here in the United States.  If it wasn’t for those rotten kids in intelligence, our nefarious plans may have come about!”

Intelligence sources say that these leaks of top secret information were unexpected, but will not investigate the source for the leaks “until later, probably.  Isn’t it great we caught those guys though?”


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