July 5, 2006

Vice President Cheney re-named “He whose name must not be spoken”

Posted in political satire at 8:32 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Tom Toburn

Vice President Dick Cheney has completed the process necessary for a formal name change, but when asked how to refer to the Vice President from this point forward, a reporter was told “He must be referred to as ‘he whose name must not be spoken.’”

When asked to elaborate, the Vice President’s spokesman explained “This really is a quite routine procedure, and the Vice President would like to resume his White House duties serving this President without the baggage previously associated with the name, Vice-President Richard B. Cheney. But I can not tell you the first or last name of the man previously known as Dick Cheney.”

Legal experts have verified that this will not effect indictments currently pending before federal court, should he be named in the case against his former chief of staff, Lewis I. “Scooter” Libby. (Mr. Libby’s attempts at changing his nickname to “Mumbly” were similarly ineffective in having charges against him dropped).

In answer to a reporter’s question on the matter, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, “No, of course it is not a question of the one who speaks this name being turned to stone. That’s preposterous. And that is a question probably better directed to the Richard Perle,” now calling himself Medusa, in the wake of his involvement in several high level intelligence scandals.

Snow was unwilling to comment on persisting rumors that this will influence President Bush and his schooling towards mastery of the dark arts, or whether these developments will have an effect on an impervious curse cast by the man formerly known as Dick Cheney (”TMFKADC”).

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