June 14, 2006

Rove finds Murtha, Kerry wanting in certitude and courage compared to members of Republican party

Posted in parody, politics, satire, US News at 5:50 pm by thewashingtonbeltsider

by Terri Firma

With renewed vigor in the aftermath of his exoneration from charges or legal jeopardy in the Valerie Plame leak scandal, chief political strategist Karl Rove singled out Senator John Kerry (D-MA) and Representative John Murtha (D-PA) for criticism, saying "They may be there for the first few bullets, but not for the tough battles ahead." 

When reporters questioned his contention in light of the fact that he and many he speaks for have not performed military service, he told reporters that his mother would not let him enlist for Viet Nam because of his asthma, "but otherwise, I would have been able to go, certainly."

He further stated "I love the Dallas Cowboys.  That doesn't mean I have to play for them."  When reminded that most professional and college football teams draft people of different age and skill level from Mr. Rove, he answered that his skill on Play Station Virtual Football (Professional Edition) is unmatched, particularly in regards to a fantasy football league, where he faces off against Secretary Rumsfled and Secretary Rice among others.  "I'm consistently in Super Bowl contention," he said.  He then asked that the interview be concluded without further comment.

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1 Comment »

  1. Al said,

    Yeah. some real cojones all right.


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