by Tom Toburn

After years of speculation by Jerry Falwell, prominent religious fundamentalist leaders, and now the Polish Children’s Affairs ombudswoman, the lead teletubby, Tinky Winky, has admitted to the press to being gay, and has apologized to the BBC for any damage the ongoing controversy and speculation has caused. “What I am most disturbed by is how it has affected our program, and what we provide for children,” he said. “My professional life and personal lifestyle decisions, to this point, have not intersected, until the observations of my accessorizing habits.” The controversy was stirred by the lead teletubby’s habit of carrying a purse, though many had commented on what was considered an overly effeminate persona and high-pitched voice.

“I only hope that, through example by figures like myself, Ellen Degeneres, and hopefully Anderson Cooper in the future, that we can seek larger acceptance in the larger community for what we do rather than what we represent.”