by Terri Firma

Political analysts at “The Washington Beltsider” have turned to botanists to help explain Bush’s surge in the polls following a series of speeches on the Iraq intervention and its connection to the fight against terrorism. It has had more resonance with voters than previous efforts, and is characterized mainly by the number and intensity of speeches and appearances this time. Like Michael Deaver on behalf of Ronald Reagan before him, political guru Karl Rove seems to be opting for the “warm bask and glow” approach, that Washington State University botanist Henry Harvey says is comparable to sunlight for plants after a long period of oxygen deprivation. “It’s like ‘welcome back to the light’ after an onslaught of negative press, which was like a spell of stormy weather,” said Professor Harvey.

“It’s true, what the botanists are saying about this race,” said lead political corrspondent for the Washington Monthly Tug Denetto. “Rank and file conservative leaning voters hear their ‘clarion call’ again, if I may. And it strengthens their political will. It’s a beautiful thing for these voters to get this attention until the election passes.”

by Paula Berrer

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez continued his diatribe against President Bush at the UN today, stating, “He’s a major prick, and he’s stupid, and I personally don’t like him very much.” This is after comparing him to the devil in an earlier address, and telling New Yorkers that Bush has “emotional problems,” and “walks around like he is John Wayne.” International political experts and experts on UN affairs have been puzzled by the by the increasingly inflammatory nature of the rhetoric Chavez has been using to characterize the President. “This type of animus has not been seen since King Ferdinand of Spain called called Andrew Jackson a ‘fucking liar’ circa the war of 1812,” said historian Walter Ludlow of Tufts, “but those were considerably more hostile times. This level of ‘potty mouth’ from Chavez is unprecedented and hard to place in any sort of context. But the ‘John Wayne walk’ thing is kind of true, I guess.”

by Tom Toburn

Still seeking to shore up the support of religious conservatives as recent polls show registered Republicans rallying around the President again, there is a new push to make voters aware that homosexuality will be on the rise of we allow terrorists to win the war on terror. Surrogates like Jerry Falwell have said in recent forums that if terrorists are allowed to win, they will be trying to convert children toward homosexuality. Even President Bush told FOX News anchor Brit Hume in an interview last week that he believes values voters should be out at the polls, “particularly because we are fighting a battle for hearts and minds, and protecting the sanctity of marriage.”

Later on the same program, Bush said “Terrorists, furthermore, support judicial activism and I worry about what it would do to abortions in this country, frankly.”

by Terri Firma

Bush’s popularity is back in the mid-40s on recwnt polls, and the desparate “talk all the time” strategy paid off in spades, earlier and more effectively than even long-time insiders had projected. The Republicans have transmitted their message by way of the bully pulpit, by way of network television, including a prime time 9/11 docudrama that coincided with a Presidential address, and press conferences carried on mainstream news venues, leaving the Democrats with snarky late night comics and the occasionally circulated Doonesbury cartoon as vehicles for their message. Democrats had pinned their hopes on the equivalent of the electorate putting their fingers in both ears and singing “La la la la,” and it didn’t work. And Republicans were poised to take advantage of the opportunity. Critics may accuse Presidential advisor Karl Rove of his impish misbehaving act yet again, but it is more akin to a most spectacular magic trick. He has the sleight of hand to make an entire unpopular war disappear on command.