by Paula Berrer

President George W. Bush has once again changed his stance on a core issue after coming face-to-face with real world refutation of his position. As with the instance where a film about aquatic life, presented by Jacque Cousteau Jr. in March, drove him to use a Presidential order to create an underwater national wildlife perserve, the hot temperature and its effects have led him to re-think his position on global warming.

“It’s fucking hot,” he told reporters on his ranch in Crawford over the weekend. “My sno cone melted really fast. Okay. I get it.

Tari Ritenour of the American Science Foundation expressed skepticism that this should greatly alter the administration’s energy policy. “Heat, ultimately, is a function of our Creator. If you’ve done your time on Earth without redemption, hot it will be. But people who play the game right will feel refreshing feelings alone, in eternity.”

For his part, Bush said, “Now I’m not going to just go along with saying these so-called ‘climate experts’ have it completely right on this thing. At the same time, there is a heck of a lot of this heat going on right now, and it must be because of something.”